Tag: freedom

On Simplicity

~ SE ~ Leave a comment

Dear True Self,

I find life to be so complicated sometimes. People can be so difficult, earning a living is challenging, being healthy…it’s like life is just one big mess I have to handle constantly! Why isn’t life more easy or simple? Why is life so difficult?

Sincerely,

Hard Knock Life

Dear HKL,

First of all, who told you life is complicated and difficult? Was that decreed from the heavens when you popped out of your mother’s womb?

It is important for you to remember that all the rules you have about life in your head, you made them up. They did not come from outside you.

Nature has it’s own rules. Rules like gravity for example. But all the rules you have about your life – they are not nature’s rules. You created them, live by them, and are frustrated because they are unfair rules. It’s a bit stupid, isn’t it? If you made them, just unmake them!

When you were a child, you did this constantly. Life was one big playground, and you made up rules all the time. But when one game was over, you dropped those rules and moved onto the next.

But now as an adult, you have forgotten that you are still playing a game. This game you have decided is the only game you want to play. The game of survival – relationships, work, health, whatever. You think the rules are set and have come from elsewhere, but I assure you, they are all inside you.

Nothing wrong with playing the survival game. But if you play it, at least play it well! Play it joyfully!

You can make up any rules you want for the way you live life. That is the beauty of it. Life is incredibly simple when you realize that what goes on in your head is entirely up to you. You can create whatever life you wish!

But when you insist that no, these are the rules, they are immutable, and they are unfair – well that is a recipe for frustration and misery for sure.

You see the biggest obstacle people have in their lives is not that life is challenging. It’s just that they take their own made up rules far too seriously.

You ever heard the saying keep it simple stupid? Good words to live by!

Just understand that you cannot control what life brings you – it may even give you something really crazy! But how you use what it gives you, how you approach it – that is up to you. Keep it simple! Enjoy it and have fun with it!

Another way to say this is, if life gives you something easy and pleasant, then best to approach it joyfully. But if life gives you something challenging, then tell me, should you approach it gravely and with no joy? You need joy and simplicity even more then, don’t you?

The truth is life is not giving you boons or curses. It is just giving you what it gives you. If you observe life, it is always following the path of least resistance. If something has come to you, it came there not because of some divine or devilish plan. It came because that was the best and simplest course for it to follow.

Similarly, you must approach life with as little resistance as possible. The simplest course for you to take in your life is a pleasant one. There is substantial evidence today to show you that approaching life joyfully and playfully is better for you – both internally and in terms of outward success.

In order for you to be pleasant about what life brings, you must be open to whatever it brings. How closed off you are determines how difficult the situation is.

So quit being so damn serious. What is so complex about earning a living or starting a family? Every single creature on this planet does it! Even an insect! You should be able to do it extremely joyfully and easily since you are a human – the most sophisticated creature here.

So play more. Drop your silly rules. Make up new ones. Smile!

No one has put a gun to your head and forced you to live your life the way you are living it. Trust me, everyone is too preoccupied with their own nonsense to give you such attention!

You are free – always remember this. You are free to live as you wish. Take responsibility for that. If life is hard, it’s because of you. If life is easy, it’s because of you. This is not about blame or credit, it’s about total freedom. Your life is entirely your making. Best to make the most of it!

Sincerely,

Your True Self

Click here if you have a question to ask Your True Self. All questions are anonymous and may be published unless specified otherwise.

On Equality

~ SE

Dear True Self,

How do I learn to treat people more equally? Sometimes I find I even falter and can act in privileged ways.

Sincerely,

Equal Signs

Dear ES,

It is a popular idea that people must be treated equally. But is that truly what we should strive for?

Let’s say in school there is a child with long legs and another one with shorter legs. Then we tell them to race in equal conditions. Is this really equality, or inequality?

Every single thing in this universe is unique. No two are alike. So why treat everything the same? If you treat everything the same, you are bound for friction. There are no rules you can follow that will be a blanket that cover all interactions.

This moment is unique and no other will ever come like it nor has any like it come before. If you want something to succeed, to thrive, then you need to look at it individually and create the right conditions.

If you treat a tomato plant in a garden the same as your potatoes, for sure one won’t grow or both! When it comes to managing the outside world, according to the situation, you must act. Never fool yourself that any less will work.

Inside yourself however, it is extremely important to not become prejudiced. When I say prejudiced I don’t just mean looking down on others. I mean that you should not look up at others or look down on others. Both are distortions of reality.

We’ve established that in order for things to succeed, then you must manage the situation correctly. Tell me, if you have something on a pedestal or are snubbing your nose at something, what hope is there of it succeeding? You must see things as they are.

There is an inherent trap in seeing things the way they are. Still your mind may trick you and you will start categorize everything. “This person is a man so they are stronger than a woman. This person is in school so they are smarter than a farmer.” Like this you will go on and on forming conclusions where there are none.

What is the truth? Some men are strong, some aren’t. Many people in school are utter fools but the intelligence it takes to run a farm is of a different kind! Seeing things as they are means dropping your conclusions and just being present.

But it’s not just about broad statements. Everyone is dynamic, no one is statically one way all the time. In one moment, a person can act one way. In the next, they can be another way. A person who has been weak their whole life can suddenly act with strength.

We live in an amazing existence where there are countless possibilities in each moment! Give everything a chance to surprise you.

This is all equality really should be. Just within yourself, stop drawing conclusions about all you experience. Each moment needs to be treated as fresh and new, because it is! That is the only fair and intelligent way to be.

If within yourself you don’t look up or look down on anything, do I need to teach you to be sensitive to other people’s struggles or to be mindful of your privileges? No, simply because you give people space to show you who they are in each moment, acting judgmentally will not even be an issue.

You can drive yourself crazy in today’s society because if you endlessly compare yourself to others of course you will be privileged. Even poor people in the west are richer than many people in the world! Comparison will only skew your perception.

Instead, why can’t you just assume nothing and see for yourself what the moment holds? Life will be more exciting, more fruitful! People will appreciate that room you give them and won’t even think of equality because they will feel free around you.

At the crux of it, this is all people want. They want the freedom to be themselves. Tell me, would you rather have to act the way that I determine you should be, or would you rather be yourself and be accepted and included for it?

So see people as they are in each moment. No looking up or down on anyone. That alone will have the consequence of freedom for yourself and others around you. Then equality is not even something you have to create, it is just something that is there.

With gratitude,

Your True Self

Click here if you have a question to ask Your True Self. All questions are anonymous and may be published unless specified otherwise.

On the Meaning of Life

~ SE ~ Leave a comment

Dear True Self,

Does it matter what we do in life? We have free will and can choose whatever we want, but it all feels so pointless. Life doesn’t seem to have any real meaning at all!

Sincerely,

Existential Crisis

Dear EC,

You are right actually. There is no meaning.

Not the answer you were expecting, huh?

I want you to understand that this isn’t about being nihilistic. This also isn’t about being realistic to a fault either. It is just about what is true and what is not true.

Meaning is not something that exists on it’s own. It is a human invention. Your meaning is something you create. It doesn’t exist independent of you, and when you die, it dies with you.

In many ways, this means life itself is pointless. But that’s a limited viewpoint. It’s not about having a point or not having a point. Life just is, whether you give it a point or not. It is here, a gift. What you make of it is your freedom, your privilege.

Life does have consequence however. Every action has an effect. This is the most fundamental law of existence. Every thought, every word, every act you perform, all of it ripples out from you affecting everything around you.

Think of it like ripples in a pond. Your existence itself is a constant ripple, effecting this great ocean of existence. It is felt all over.

If you could experience the depth of the effect you have, the depth of the effect life is having on you right now, even for one brief moment – well that would be enough to show you that life is your making, and that is no small thing.

But at the same time, for how powerful of an effect you have, you are also insignificant. In the grand scheme of the cosmos, what you do on this small little speck in this solar system matters very little.

This is how life is – so important yet so insignificant. Importance and insignificance are just two complementary halves, inseparable. That is how your life is too.

You see, nothing truly matters that you do, because life will always go on. But at the same time everything matters. Why? Because it is your life!

Everything that comes into your experience is your life, isn’t it? If something isn’t in your experience, it doesn’t exist for you. If it doesn’t exist for you, it obviously doesn’t matter to you.

Conversely, everything that happens in your life does matter! Forget the grand scale of things for a moment. What happens to you matters to you. To tell yourself otherwise is a psychological lie, a stupid game. If I suddenly start whipping you, trust me, it will matter to you.

So every moment of your life matters to you. Please remember: everyone and everything else in this universe feels the same way. I don’t just mean the people either. I mean every atom in existence.

If you can remember this one thing, that everyone else feels the same way you do, that what happens to them matters, then you will see that we are all equal, in this together. It will be impossible to deny your compassion.

Understanding all this, you must see the two dimensions of life – inward and outward.

The outward, or what you do, is really arbitrary. It doesn’t truly matter. There are no laws in the universe that state you must do good, be kind, etc. No judge is weighing cosmic scales. You are free to act however you want, always.

But an intelligent person will understand that every outward action they take reverberates inward as well. Someone who knows this will not waste time being unpleasant to anything in existence, because they are not stupid enough to hurt themselves. Only stupid people use their free will to make things more difficult for others.

To sum it up: Life is meaningless. But it matters to you. It doesn’t matter what you do, only how you are when you do it. If you are wise, you will leave this world better than you found it, and everyone in it who has encountered you better off for having met you.

Your choice.

With gratitude,

Your True Self

Click here if you have a question to ask Your True Self. All questions are anonymous and may be published unless specified otherwise.