Dear True Self,
I consider myself to be a perfectionist. Everything I do I endeavour for it to be done as perfectly as possible. Some people say I am obsessive or too nit picky. Is it wrong to want to do things as best as possible?
Sincerely,
Pop Goes Perfection
Dear PGP,
Let me tell you an old Zen story:
There was a monk who lived at a monastery and was placed in charge of the gardens. Because he loved the plants so much, he meticulously performed his job for hours.
There was another temple across from this monastery where an old Zen Master lived. One day, he watched this monk perform his duties with great attention from across the way.
When the monk had finished that day, he remarked to the old master how beautiful everything was now. The master replied,
“Yes, but there is something missing. Please carry me to that tree.”
The monk helped the old master to the tree. The master then proceeded to shake the tree, showering leaves all over the garden. “There” he said, “You can put me back down now.”
What is perfection? It is simply by your limited definition isn’t it? What may be perfectly heaven for you could be someone else’s ultimate hell, couldn’t it?
If you feel a deep compulsion or addiction towards perfection, then that is not well-being, it is sickness. To consciously perform your duties is fine – but you must not be attached to the outcome.
Being dedicated to the process is all that matters. Enjoy every step along the way of whatever action you perform. Do it fully, consciously, with the utmost involvement. That is the only thing that truly matters. But this idea that if you do X, Y, and Z, then it equals perfection, is just a psychological game.
You have created rules for how you live. In those rules, you have decided that things need to be a particular way for you to be comfortable. Now, all these rules have become so important for you that you think that anything that follows them is perfection and anything that doesn’t needs to be fixed.
All that has happened is you have gone from seeing the splendor and beauty in the way things are and instead see everything as a problem that needs solving. Do not flatter yourself. Even if the entire universe was broken, are you somehow the most qualified to fix it?
You can tend to a garden your whole life, and it is not a wasted life. Tending a garden takes tremendous care. You have to manage so many factors, but if you do, there is potential for many great results.
But if you don’t manage those factors even for 1 or 2 days, the whole garden becomes at risk, doesn’t it? This is your plan, your design, your efforts – constant meticulous effort for minuscule fragile reward.
Now take a look at a forest. Even if you leave it alone for ten million years, will it not thrive insatiably? It does not need your interference. In fact, if you want it to not thrive, for sure your interference is the culprit!
That is nature’s way. It is wild, doesn’t care about your personal rules or agendas, and it flourishes in the most effective way. It may not give you the particular result you want, but it will for sure yield far more results than you ever will.
I don’t say all this so that you suddenly become some unkempt lazy person who just thinks that life will somehow take care of you magically. I am saying that you must be as devoted to the process as that forest is.
Every single seed and sapling and tree in that forest is focused on it’s growth. It doesn’t have some desire to grow in a particular way or shape or style. Simply it is devoted to the processes it needs to be – to absorb sunlight, nutrients, etc.
Like this, you must forget about being results focused. Forget about perfection. Instead be as involved as possible in your process. Every day that goes by, no matter what life gives you, make the most of it and dive in!
Perfection is not a target to be reached. Life is not perfect because it follows some made up rules. Life is perfect because in every moment, it pushes forward, with absolute attention and totality. You must do the same.
With gratitude,
Your True Self
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Dear True Self 